ACT I- As soon as I arrived in Hawaii I knew that I had a calling to go see the lava. The lava exists in an active volcano on the Big Island. It’s the youngest island and so all of the plants and land are relatively “new” compared to the rest of the earth. To me, the most creative place on the earth at this time is actually where the lava meets the water. Alchemy in action.
As soon as I bought my ticket the fire started calling me. That night in my dreams I saw the image of the lava pouring into Mother Ocean. It startled me so much that I awoke to have my eyes rolling back in my head. That may sound a little freaky, but to anyone on the path of healing and consciousness, you understand that it is the bodies way to let you know something is going on in the brain. When I woke up that morning I felt nauseous and extremely anxious. So much energy was moving all day long. That night I had another dream. In this dream, I was a hula girl out on the land. I was digging my heels into the earth as my hips were shaking back and forth with an exuberant speed. I could hear the drums beating and feel where all of my energy was moving down my legs. I was in deep communion with mother Earth.
ACTII-Arriving that morning to the Big Island brought the energy of grounding downward force of energy. Apana Vayu. It was amazing to be so in tune that I could feel the difference between the islands. My friend Taj picked me up and we started our drive all the way to meet Pele. When we arrived at our location, I had no idea what I was in for. I was thinking a bit of a hike. Maybe two hours and that it would be relatively easy. Um, yeah. I was wrong about that.
As we started in the sun was flowing to it’s last corner just before it would make its descent. my friend called out that we would have to make it there before the sun went down. As I looked out across these lava fields I was a little nervous as to how long it would take. I didn’t mind a good hike but this looked like the miles would go on into the depths of eternity. Taj handed me a big green leaf. “This is an offering to Pele”. I could imagine me not giving it to her with her forceful fire nature sending a big ball of hell right towards my chest. I determined that I better gift it to her. I decided I would tuck it in my shirt. I laid it down my chest all the way from my throat to my womb. I envisioned that the leaf would absorb all of my pain and heartache that I had endured in this life. I would gift it to Pele and she would in return set it on fire and burn it until even the memories couldn’t even be recaptured.
At first it seemed quite easy and I felt confident that I would be able to pull this off no problem. I am a woman who has been on her healing path for as long as I can remember. Suffering large amounts of sexual and physical abuse led me into complete disassociation from my body. It had taken me years to even begin to come back into it. The fact that I was even willing to go on this endeavor was beyond what I ever thought imaginable. As we trekked out I was feeling tired but I knew I had to see that fire. After the dream that I had dreamt I imagined that there was something big for me, Something massive in this fire they call Pele. I would climb up a hill and then have to jump across a crack that would lead me into losing my balance where I was ever so grateful to have a big stick that Taj had given me. This was basically the road to Pele. For 3 and a half hours. This was the journey. As I looked forward there was no comfort. As I looked back there was no sense of gratification because I still had so far to go. It all looked the same the future and the past. I was just somewhere in the middle of it wanting to rest wanting to stop to exhausted to go on. This was no bed of roses, no pile of feathers or leaves. This was the beginning of the earth. Sharp as glass with not a thought of cutting you until the blood would begin to drip like the sweet sugar for any Vampire on the loose. All I could do was put one foot in front of the other until I would see her.
ACTIII- The massive ocean is to my left over a cliff. I look ahead to see a huge cloud of steam. “This is where the lava meets the water, this is where the land is created”. I wasn’t close enough to see it yet. I was burning up and freezing at the same time. The sweat rolled off of me drop by drop. I imagined that this is what the tear drops of Pele felt like. Every drop had a unique purpose for the path of my healing. I wanted to give up but there was something stronger than I pulling into the fire.
To see it is something one would have to experience for themselves. You cannot believe the power and seduction of the fire. It draws you in and just as much as you want to reach out to it you know it will burn you and makes it mark so that you will never forget. I had marched there with my banana leaf just knowing I would throw it in so quickly when in actuality it was the exact opposite. I stood holding the leaf as I stared into the liquid fire pouring out of the earth. I was intimidated. I was scared that even she would reject me as my father had my entire life. In that moment I was facing all of my scars but I knew this was the only way to set an intention so powerful that I would never look back. I threw it in. I threw in the green leaf. I threw in my pain. I threw in the silent screams. I threw it all in. Everything that had kept me frozen in fear had now finally met it’s match. Her name is Pele the Goddess of fire. She would walk with me now. She would show me the way.
It felt like hours that she and I stared into one another’s eyes. It was dark the sun was completely gone. I new she had changed me because I had no fear of hiking back. The only light was the light of the moon and a very small flashlight. I was thrilled to be on that adventure. She had changed me. She taught me how to move thru my legs in complete trust with the earth. She taught me to never turn back on to only move forward into the intention for my life.