If you would have told me two and a half years ago I would find myself living on a beach in Central America, healing rock stars and world famous yogi’s and wanderers from around the world, I would have never believed you. Coming to this community has forever changed me, in exactly the ways I had always sought: viewing myself in a different way. Letting go of the images and feelings from my childhood where I wasn’t enough, where I felt that I didn’t really matter and neither could or would ever succeed.
On my path of mending a broken soul, the final pieces would be brought together through this place, through these people and through this land. My time here has made me realize that all of the work and healing I have practiced over the years has meant something. It has reminded me that if we don’t say, “YES!” and take chances, then we stay stuck and in our fear. And I don’t mean just taking those chances to do something thrilling or adventurous, or go somewhere on the other side of the world (which are, of course, amazing!), but also the chance to go within. By saying yes to an adventure within my internal world, of looking and observing all of the pain of the past and facing myself and my fears, I found the courage to step forward in the external world and pull in what I needed to nurture me and give me hope that I could create the life I wanted.
Here, I realized that I have been healing my whole life, both others and myself. When people ask me what I do and I say, “I am a healer,” I can sometimes get a negative response. I have people who immediately will say, “You are not healing anyone – they are healing themselves.” This is so true. To those people I wish to explain that what I mean is, I am always holding a space of healing because I have had to do that for myself. Because of all of the barriers I have had to break through, I am able to show my clients and students how to get in there, in their own internal spaces, and find that place of healing for themselves. Walking around holding on to pain is not who we are. Once we start shedding it, we make room for the source of love to pour through and show us exactly what we are and what we can be.
Maderas Village is an especially perfect place for this time of inner journey, as being known around here as the ‘Village Witch’ makes everyday a freaking Disney ride. From sage bombing the territory to encouraging people to howl out loud just because, there is never a dull moment. (And, if for some reason it does get dull, we just run down to the beach and jump in the ocean to clear our blocked channels that make us feel bored in the first place!) Holding a space for people to open up and at the same time finding the humor and light, where the fear is, is my calling. I believe we are all called to places, people and events. We are called to unfold to the things that help us evolve as a species. Called to awaken to each other and the earth. Called to understand that we are all in this together. We have to be here for each other. Beyond the shadow of a doubt, I was called to be here. I truly believe that.
By the time that you read this, I will have departed Maderas to go deep into the amazon of Peru. Two weeks of no electricity with nothing but me and Mama Earth. My other Mama is terrified but she trusts I am guided. She lost me last week last at Disney World on family vacation and started to panic, until she remembered that I run around this big world with nothing but a suitcase and my dreams. I too started to panic, until I realized the same thing. It’s funny how we can get triggered so easily – grown people all of a sudden becoming the 4-year-old afraid they will never see their family again.
It will be months before I return to Maderas, to this place and these people I call home. To this magic village where people create, awaken and discover their innate inner being, the one that lives inside and longs to be flipped to the outside to create a world without shame, judgment and painful belief systems. I will miss this place and its power, but I am comforted knowing I will be back. I will always come back to live this sweet #maderaslife.